I had planned to actually put up more pics of the 2010 stuff but the random conversations from yesterday were too priceless not to actually share with you readers. I honestly can’t believe I had these conversations or that people like this exist. In all seriousness people should have to take a training course and get a license to procreate for there are too many mongoloids roaming the world.
Just to give a little back ground here, I’ve worked at my current job for over year and I’ve worked in shops for the last 11. There’s rarely anything that phases me when people ask questions and I think I’ve heard just about every possible stupid question there. So lets dive deeper into hilarious random conversation one.
So I’m behind the counter pricing some soft goods and generally doing my thing. There’s a few ladies in their mid 40’s roaming around in typical pack mentality, picking things apart like a Velasca Raptor from Jurassic Park. I don’t really take heed to what they’re doing till one of them approaches me with that look of a deer caught in the head lights of oncoming traffic right before it smashes into the front bumper.
So the woman swaggers up carrying a Special Blend hoodie and says, “I was here a couple weeks ago and you had a jacket that had a liner that looked just like this.”
I look at the hoodie and say, “Yep we did”
She stares blankly at me then pauses for a few seconds, “Well what happened to it”
I look back at her and say, “Probably sold it”
She looks back at me longingly for an answer she can comprehend, “You Sold it? But it was here a few weeks ago”
Now I’m trying to analyze where she’s going with this so I can plan my next course of defense for the onslaught of stupidity that will spew forth from her mouth. I retort to her, “Well we are a shop that does high volumes of traffic so its not uncommon for us to sell things.”
She looks down at the hoodie in her hand and then back up at me, “Yes but what do you mean you sold it, it was here a few weeks ago.”
Now I’m thinking to myself OK maybe she’s a bit slow or from Texas, which is just as good as being slow. Not that I hate Texans you’d just have to come to Colorado to understand. I put down my price gun and look up at her again and say, “Well we do provide goods to the public and being a heavily trafficked store items do sell out pretty fast.”
She pauses briefly, I think to myself ah she understands me, oh how I was sadly mistaken my friends. Her eyes make contact with mine and I think for a moment she’s going to burn a hole through me, but then she drops her gaze. She replies to me, “Well I really wanted to buy it and it should be here why did you sell it?”
I know you’re thinking the same thing as me here, “It should be here”? Honestly if you wanted it you would have bought it as it wouldn’t just be sitting there. Or at the least have us put it on hold. But no that might be too hard of a concept for her to understand.
I inform her again that we’re in the business of selling items and she goes, “Oh so you sold out of it?”
At this point I’m thinking am I seriously having this conversation still. I want to pinch myself to see if I’m awake, but having sworn off booze long ago I know its not a long drawn out nightmare. At this point I can’t even deal with her and have to walk away. But really now who the hell is that dense? I’d say I’d like to meet them, but I already have
Now conversation two is amusing in itself. This time it involves a bit of a language barrier and two hopelessly lost Europeans. I don’t know if I feel bad for them or just the fact they can’t do things themselves.
So once again I’m behind the counter doing those things I do that keep me occupied when I notice two very Analoged out guys. I say, “whats up guys”, they nod their heads and just keep walking around the store. No biggie they’re just browsing I’ll continue to keep on doing what I’m doing. A few minutes go by and they both approach the front counter.
I say, “Whats up fella’s need help with anything?”
The one on my right who may or may not have a touch of the downs, stares at me for two minutes then says, “Yes!”
That’s all he says no indication of where this is going but hey its not that busy so I’ll go with the flow. I say, “So what do you need?”
At this point the phone rings, the song on the radio changes, and the guy that may or may not have a touch of the downs looks at me in a peculiar manner. He then says, “Go ahead.” I say, “Go ahead what?” He responds, “Go ahead you talk.” I say “Huh?” He then says, “O.K you answer now” I look at him a bit puzzled then say, “I’m sorry what?” His friend then says, “You can answer the phone.” Ah OK they want me to answer the phone we’re working on it here. I say, “nah its cool guys what can I help you with?”
They take a few minutes to collect themselves then point at I think the stomp pads or maybe a tool, I don’t really care either way. So I say, “What’s it you need bro?”
The one that doesn’t look like his head was squished in a vice says, “We need your help?” “OK Fella’s what is it?”
The one who may or may not have downs syndrome says, “We come here from Europe and want place to live you help?”
Now I’m thinking what the hell is this comedy routine we got going on here. So I say, ” Sorry guys I don’t have a place to rent to you.”
They look a bit sad then say, “No you find us place to rent now!” Frankly this is getting old quick and I’m a bit over it but I figure what the hell maybe I can decipher what they’re asking me here.
I say, “The News Paper is out front check that.”
They say, “We here for 1 month and want rent studio you help us.”
I say, “Sorry guys if you haven’t found a place by October, the pickings are going to be slim and I don’t know of anyone that’s renting for just one month. Maybe try a motel and see if they’ll give you a monthly rate.”
The one who looks more intelligent glares at me then says, “No you find us place now.”
At this point I’m going what the hell am I on candid camera or some shit and I say, “No can do guys I just sell snowboards I’m not a realtor.”
They look a bit perplexed by this statement then say, ” Good bye we talk later about place.” Now I’m not sure but I think I may have lead them to believe they’re living with me.
Now two conversations like this in a few hours time is pretty unheard of but just when I think I’m out of the woods number three has to roll in. This one was a bit sketchy and bothered me a bit more than the other two.
So I’m once again behind the counter, gutting apart some guys boa boots to replace the lace. This chick walks in with two guys. She’s digging apart the racks like she’s on a mission. My co workers makes eye contact with her and she instantly stops what she’s doing and says, “I’m sorry”
I look up a bit confused about what she’s apologizing for. Evidently she’s just tossing shit all over the place so I ignore it and go back to what I’m doing, my co workers strikes up a conversation with her. As I’m a bit too into playing with this boa knob to care what she’s doing I just shrug it off.
Ten minutes later she says, ” Is Steve working?”
I look up at her and say, “No he’s at home, he probably won’t be in to work for a while he’s a bit injured”
She looks slightly confused and then slowly responds, “Injured? I love Steve he’s one of my good friends and such a sweet heart.”
I say, “Yeah he tweaked something and is all messed up”
She looks a bit concerned and replies, “How’d he do that?”
I say, “Probably snowboarding”
She looks even more confused, “Snowboarding? Steve can snowboard I didn’t know that?”
Steve’s Deaf and a totally awesome guy who loves snowboarding. Shit we work in a shop in the middle of Summit County wouldn’t you figure we all snowboard if we work in a shop? But sometimes this slips past people. Also I’ve found many people claim to be his good friend up here, but really they just try to take advantage of him.
So I casually say, “Yeah Steve’s been riding since I think like 89 or something like that”
She looks a bit more confused and says, “But how can he snowboard?”
How can he snowboard? Seriously this girl is saying that? He’s deaf not fucking incapacitated. Hell I can hold a conversation better with him than some people that can actually hear. He reads lips like nobodies business. Some people are just down right retarded.
So I glare at her and say, “Well he puts his boots on and then straps his board in and rides down the mountain.”
She doesn’t catch the sarcasm here and says,” There’s no reason to be mean to me I just don’t understand how he can snowboard.”
Being mean? The only thing mean is the fact you believe someone that’s deaf can’t shred. It’s like if you’re such great friends with him you’d probably realize he talks about snowboarding all the time. Dude has ridden a lot of great resorts and has some amazing stories to tell people.
This is the shit I dealt with in a few hours time. Maybe its me, but frankly I thought it was amusing at how dumb people were. Why is it that people just can’t think before they talk?