There is a affliction many young snowboarders face in this day and age. They have not built an immunity to it like those of us that were raised on Whiskey and the Forum 8. Some how those of us that lived through that time period have faired far more well than the youth of today.
Yes thats right I’m talking about Over Steez Disease. What is Over Steez Diseas or OSD for short? Well to truly understand what it is you would have to look at the definition of Steez.
Steez: Style combined with ease.
Now OSD can be classified as taking style and going just a little to far. How is this done? Simple take whatever trend the hype machines are pushing out is cool for your image and then make it look like said trend exploded all over you in a steez bukkake bath.
A perfect example of this is the tightest pants on earth, the widest stance you can make, mismatched gloves preferably with a couple missing finger tips, some form of jacket that is either members only or leather that barely covers your mid riff, at least 3 overly long necklaces or medallions, goggles, hoodie with hood up and goggles strapped on over it, dream catcher (yes I’m not joking here I’ve seen this), at least 3 night gowns oops I mean Tall T’s, a leg bag or three, and a cigarette hanging out of your mouth.
Along with dressing like a transexual-hippie-hooker-pirate they talk like a bunch of crack smoking trailer trash. Evidently the vernacular is something I can’t even stress when putting it into quotations, believe me I tried.
Its almost like snowboarding has taken a step back in time with this new fashion trend. Back then it was perfectly acceptable to ride in jeans because it was all there was. But is there really a point now to stealing your little sisters jeans and riding? How is that even functionable? I’ve never gotten a answer that I could believe from people that suffer from OSD.
Now the only known cure that I have found for OSD is a severe deprograming regiment. It involves listening to a lot of Guns ‘n Roses and Metal. Coupled with watching such wonderous snowboard films as Whiskey 1 through 3 (after all we all know 4 is crap). Wildcats videos are also perfectly acceptable as well. After going through this part of the deprogramming process a swift kick to the nuts is to be expect and then a what the hell were you thinking.
Please if you know of a fellow shred head that is showing signs of OSD or severly suffering from it get them help. Take them out in the backcountry and beat them repeatedly till they admit they are stupid.