With SIA creeping up at the end of the month that means more of the new products are going to start popping up all over the Internet. With all that it means we’ll see what companies feel are going to be the hot trends for 2012. Now we all know that trends start on the slopes that’s where it begins it’s not dictated by what companies tell us. So here’s what we predict is going to be hot for this next season.
Since 2012 marks the end of human existence according to the Mayan calendar some of the different social groups have already started dressing accordingly. It’s almost as if by instinct they’re prepared for the apocalypse and what will come.
The Heshers of the hill have decided to embrace the apocalypse by going with the Mad Max/Road Warrior themed outerwear. More leather, more straps, and probably a sawed off shotgun that doesn’t have any ammo. Look for this style of outerwear to be embraced by companies like L1 and Holden. Their new fashion accessory of choice scary looking mutt dogs with bandanas.
Now the scary Gypsy/Hipster kids with the dream catchers weaved into their hair and pants so tight if they popped a chubby the crotch would explode have gone a different route. This is when they all repent their heathen ways and find a god to worship. You can now expect to see them dressing like Mormons out on their mission with a clean cut appearance. Burton always ready to jump on peoples weakness sees this and will have a line of khaki pants and white fake button up jackets all while promoting the fire crotch Shaun as the messiah. Analog to be a bit more edgy will have a god squad bedazzled denim jacket that says “End of the World Tour 2012”.
The skittle kids that love being retro have decided to take it to the next level. Sure neons and mustaches were fun but what really says I’m a fine connoisseur of all that is ancient like half shirts and mullets. Yep that’s right tall tees are out and cut off half shirts are in, bonus steez points if its a mesh shirt and for the ultra cool Zubaz pants. Expect to see Special Blend, Nomis, and some horribly obscure European brand getting in on this. Since Camaro hair is in this season kids will be trading out mommies Audi TT for a nice 87 IROC with T-Tops as their new fashion vehicle. Expect to see lots of people drifting the parking lots at your home resort.
We all know rocker is hot right now going with that trend companies will start marketing reverse rocker and tell us how awesome it is that our snowboard bows upward and has these things called contact points at the tip and tail. People will eat this up and as more and more retired pro’s come out of retirement for the X-Games Snowboard Legends. You will see sales truly magnify in the over 25 age bracket. Kids on the other hand will still be saying, “but I don’t get it”.
Binding manufacturers realizing that people hate highbacks will start offering the option of No-Backs for an additional fifty dollars. People seeing it as the ultimate in boot to binding interfaces eat it up and sales go through the roof. Technine fully embraces the winged revolution and creates the double winged highback so people no longer have to pick which side they want their wings on. Burton not to be outdone also creates a double winged highback but adds a third strap for ultimate shin support. Danny Davis wins X-Games Pipe with it and Shaun White cries.
Boot prices skyrocket to the level that ski boots are at and riders say fuck it and go back to using Sorels. Super tweaking becomes the norm and Nick Visconti invents the double tuck knee rocket slide. Kids see this in the latest Dangerzone edit and try to mimic him only to break both ankles. Nick makes an apology Dangerzone episode about this and swears off soft boots forever thus turning him into the Damian Sanders of our generation.
Shops: As the Internet continues to destroy shops Walmart realizes that it’s highly lacking in the snowboard department. It proceeds to buy out The-House and dominates the shred sales landscape. Local shops become something of the past and you can now buy your bait, ammo, toilet paper, and snowboard products all in one place. No one seems to care except the old shop employees that are bitter and swear off snowboarding and take up extreme down hill snow canoeing.
Riders: With the impending doom of the world counting down this is where things go crazy. Jake Olson-Elm films the most banger urban section of his life then says fuck you Minnesota and moves to Mt. Baker to film backcountry with Jake Blauvelt. Surprisingly he takes it to the next level and people hail him as the second coming of Gigi. Video Grass attempts to revolutionize the rider/video landscape but is outdone with Travis Parker returning from retirement and filming Robot Food 4 entitled We’re Still Lame with Pierre Wikberg and friends. It sets the standard for the next decade of shred flicks. On the contest side of things X-Games now features the legends event for all the older pro’s, Kevin Jones shows up does a quadruple cork 1440 stomps it and solidifies why he is the most bad ass snowboarder that has ever lived, Todd Richards commentates and makes lots of poop references. Webisodes continue to have a dominating presence and since collaborations are so trendy you start seeing Roxy Dangerzone Realm Refreshment Snowboard Webisodes one huge conglomerate of shred in one place. In women’s snowboarding Lindsay Jacobellis falls again this time trying a tuck knee over the last jump in the BX course at X-Games. Nothing new there people. In stunt ditch Torah finally unveils the double chuck in the pipe people think it’s awesome till some random unknown girl attempts a triple in the dude tube. Peep Show releases another all girls movie this time focusing on Laura Hadars attempt at becoming a female ultimate fighter, she promptly wins all her fights takes on the mens division and wins. She retires to Portland to become a bouncer with Shane Flood.
Snowboard Media: This site sells out to Yobeat one week before Yobeat gets bought by the Bonnier Corp and converted into Transworld Junior. Snowboarder and Snowboard Mag merge to form You Snowboard magazine. People don’t seem to care about this and start looking elsewhere for snowboard news. The European magazines stay the same and keep it real and this is where readership flourishes.
Consumers:You continue to keep on shredding regardless what anyone tells you is cool. Thus making being yourself the coolest trend of 2012.