It’s 2016 and clearly the whole skier versus snowboarder argument as been squashed, well except for a few select hold outs and those in the freeskiing community that want validation. It’s pretty much a time of utter harmony on the slopes with skiers and snowboarders intermingling. Still there comes a point where this intermingling takes it just a step too far, much like trying to cross breed a Ape with a Hippo to make the Apepotomus (think about the level of poo flinging that thing could do). So you find yourself sitting there staring dumbfounded saying to yourself, “What. The. Fuck!” without a clue to as to what you’re witnessing.
Much like that train wreck of a significant other your sibling brings to Christmas you just can’t look away and want to share. Or at least that was my initial reaction when I discovered the Envy Ski Frame. A device that has found a way to dig into the past of snowboarding and somehow add skiing into the mix.
There’s always been this ongoing joke among my friends that if a skier and snowboarder were to have a baby it would be a ski blader, sadly we overlooked the possibility of this mongloid. A contraption so weird it leaves you to wonder if the inventor was from Colorado or Washington and spent a little too much time at the recreational weed store.
Picture this, two guys sitting on a derelict couch in a haze of smoke. One is a skier and one is a snowboarder. The skier says to the snowboarder, “Hey bro. Skiing is awesome but I wish we had your boots they’re just so much easier to walk in.” The snowboarder chokes on a bong hit and coughs out, “Yeah man I see where you’re coming from. Can you pass the Funions.” The skier then passes him the Funions and says, “I should probably just use that mechanical engineering degree my parents paid for so I could ski for something good.” The snowboarder looks at the skier and replies, “Dude! I have the same degree. Lets make this happen.”
But putting the blame for this on weed aside, one has to ask yet again, why?