The G-String Theory

Our world continues to be disrupted from new advances in science made possible by the fruitful efforts of those who venture to gain clarity where there once was obscurity. By now, it is very clear that Bro Flo, Gaperian Motion, Pro Flow, and the Hos Field are real physical phenomena that can be explained with unimaginable detail. Over the course of one short year, we have entered into a new age of enlightenment.

Common sense or universal truth?

Common sense or universal truth?

And yet so much remains to be explained. We are aware of the existence of the Hos Field and its accompanying Hos mechanism, a means by which Hos materialize, interact with Pros, and in some cases gain mass. But we don’t yet understand the precise interactions that give rise to it. Pro Flow excites the Hos field and makes Hos materialize. Is that all there is to the story?

The work of Dr. Nye, The Shred Guy has revealed an exciting possibility; a way to understand how Hos materialize. His double slut experiment has shown, beyond all question, that Hos respond to Pro Flow in a quantized manner. That is to say, specific vibrations in the Pro Flow are capable of adding a harmonic oscillation to the Hos field, exciting it and making the Hos field act as a particle.

Observationally, this has been known for quite some time. It’s very clear that gapers and bros lack the ability to excite the Hos Field. Although they invest countless amounts of energy into this very effort, it appears to fail on nearly all accounts. How can this be? How is it so easy for Pro Flow to make Hos materialize while all other flows seem to come up against a wall of DUFFs acting as a buffer? (A full treatise on the DUFFer buffer will have to come at a later date).

Many in the community are beginning to believe there is a disconnect in the typical interaction between Bro Flow and the Hos Field. There is no rhythm to the way Bros and Gapers Flow, no harmonic resonance. Energy is sent but never received. Nothing ever escalates.

But if we argue that harmonic resonance makes Hos materialize, we need to envision some kind of theoretical entity that can respond to this resonance. Henceforth, I propose the G-String.

G-Strings are interwoven in the underlying fabric of the Hos field. They respond to harmonic vibrations in the Pro Flow, and in some very small cases, the Bro Flow. When a G-String becomes highly excited and flies off of its carrier, a Ho materializes.

Many have argued that G-Strings don’t exist because they are too tiny to be seen by the naked eye. Although this must necessarily be the case if a Ho is to properly be a Ho, we can infer their existence from the direct observation of Hos that materialize in the lab. No G-String is ever present, but something very small must have been there at some point before the Ho took on the character of a particle.

The most intriguing facet of G-Strings is the bizarre way in which they harmonically oscillate with vibrations that are some combination of a 180 or a cork. That is what makes this theory a quantum theory of Hos, and it also explains why Bro Flow weakly interacts with the Hos field. Straight airs, 630s off of jumps, and backflips to the face will never properly excite the G-Strings that make Hos materialize.

Because G-Strings harmonically oscillate, the more 180s and Corks one is capable of combining into a single vibration, the more likely a G-String will be blown away from its carrier. The Double Cork and Triple Cork were all invented by the Pro Flow with the unconscious aim of making Hos materialize in this very manner.

That, however, is not the mere end of possibilities regarding the excitation of G-Strings. Other more experimentally forward members of the Pro Flow have taken to creating high amplitude 180s so harmonic and rhythmic that they are capable of blowing G-Strings thousands of miles from their original carriers. In such a situation, Hos materialize in area codes where they have never been seen before.

G-Strings are the glue holding the Hos Field together. Without them, the Hos field would be unstable. Imagine a universe with Hos blocking every exit and entrance, preventing one from leaving one’s home. Although many would love to live in such a universe, it eventually collapses under its own weight with Super Massive Black Hos becoming the dominant force of gravitational attraction.

And for those who need to see G-Strings in order to believe in their existence, one is forced to infer a pronounced lack of experience in the field. I can only suggest you take a walk around the block, open your eyes, and peel away a few layers of the universe with your own two hands.

Ted is a freelance snowboarding journalist living in Breckenridge, CO. His passions include going inverted twice in a row and landing on his back, saving babies from sinking battleships, and of course making apps for Iphones.

Latest posts by Ted Bendixson (Posts)

One Comment

  1. ODV says:

    yes saw some bro flow get disrupted by some pro flow and we were able to witness a super massive black ho form. wow what a site wish you could’ve been there dr. nye

Leave a Comment