Running the quintessential site that calls bullshit on everything that could possibly relate to snowboarding is a daunting task. It’s a rough life living off a trust fund, dealing with my mom always cooking meals for me and bringing them into the basement, getting free corporate cars with gas cards, having companies give me copious amounts of free product, all the bro-shakes, and lets not forget the pro-ho’s either! Anyone can be Johnny ray of sunshine everything is the best, that takes no talent at all, but it does take balls of fucking steel to not hide what you believe in or to even put it out there for people. While this site might be a vessel for the opinions of myself and others it’s never been used to hide behind as if some form of alter ego.
Now I know you’re shocked that I have pro-ho’s but relax any guy in a snowboard town that has some form of a hook up does so that’s irrelevant to this article. What’s totally relevant is that once again I have to go flog the dead horse that is Nope Snowboards, or as I call it “new” owners, same fucking douche bag mentality. In case you missed anything that’s been written about Nope I highly recommend these choice articles: Social media? Nope. Dear Nope, Pay Attention Please Still in business? Nope.
I would also like to point out that all of this regarding this horrible fake-image-completely-crap-brand stems back to the asking of one sole question. Yes, a question is what caused all this and nothing more. Knowing that should add more comedic value to the whole situation that transcribed last week while I was driving from Colorado to Mt. Hood to film content for this site and get the biggest product review I’ve done to date accomplished.
After all nothing screams our company is awesome like a wrapped Hummer. Oh wait that’s not a real Hummer it’s the watered down pussy version. A real company says fuck the flashy penis extension of an H3 and opts for the more functional Humvee.
I’ll give them credit they tried to ego stroke me for a bit until they realize that we were heading through Park City on our way to Mt. Hood. They even got in the mom crack. Don’t worry she’s my biggest fan and supporter as any good mother would be for her baby boy.
We rolled into Park City a little after 11 on Thursday and proceeded to head right to the agreed upon meeting area. Door guy told me they hadn’t seen the owner but to check upstairs, we did and no one was there. I then proceeded to show them how I felt about being stood up in true Johnny Cash inspired fashion.
At this point I think I need to show you one more piece of evidence that shows these guys had no intentions of meeting up with me.
Notice the date that they picked this up, Friday! Now how could that have been parked out front? Stood up like a fat chick at prom.
The new owners lacking any form of fortitude decided to rally troops for their case by tagging potential support groups on Facebook for their cause. Unfortunately the only support group that will have them is Assholes Anonymous, too bad it means coming out from behind their keyboard and any good Internet tough guy would never do that ever, social interaction is just scary.
Now as I was driving out of SLC and through Utah on to Idaho these are what started popping up.
This was the second one they posted as the first one had the wrong date. Someone had pointed it out and back to the drawing board they went. Guess it takes 2 tries to do it right with this company. I went to Hectors instead for breakfast, highly recommend it and stop by Milo or Salty Peaks up the street and support a local shop not some online only company.
Here is where they obviously discovered I took a jab at them by captioning a post about a Yes board I reviewed saying the opposite of Nope.
Great screen capture from a Buoloco interview. Strongly recommend watching that interview actually if you have a chance.
I still don’t know why they suggested I drank their shot of choice but that’s another story. This is where you can tell they are agitated that I haven’t shown up and now start threatening long time supporter and friends Arkade Magazine (Great magazine check them out I usually have a featured article in every issue) by saying their advertisers are going to pull from them. Also I would like to point out at this point I had just dropped 7 snowboards off to Milo and was somewhere out past Ogden heading to Idaho. Don’t stop in Ogden it’s scary.
As I recall Park City just so happened to be where the old/new owners moved to and have no real attachment or roots. We have the same type of people in Breck and we humor them as well. Yes I do know where to find them not only was it literally on the other side of the block from where I stayed in Park City but they painted me a great parking space in the front. The horrible attempt to call me fat is kind of humorous as I’m far from it these days but about 10 years ago I would have to agree with you on the need for me to eat a “reduced fat schmear”. Cubicle jockeying is tough work and I burn a lot of calories these days plus Ted our contributing writer is perfecting the treadmill desk.
Oh and for anyone worried about Arkade losing advertising, don’t be, 20 minutes after that threat was made a company owner contacted me and said they would be replacing the vacancy that Nope had created. Technically this means that Nope is helping the American Economy as Arkade will remain in business by a company that builds it’s boards in China.
Obviously my silence induced by a complete lack of anything in Idaho and the fact no one cares about them had caused serious mental distress. As we were greeted with these gems of wisdom.
I would like to point out right now that Yes is built by Nidecker which actually funds the brand along with Jones and does a few special projects for other riders. Technically it’s not a real OEM as they have a full facility under their title owner. Now Nope on the other hand has a lot in common with all the brands in this article from Illicit Snowboarding. Oh I will admit it is true you have more fans but when you have to give product away to get more fans are they really true loyalists? I could pay people to be my friends but doesn’t mean they are. Get the idea their chief?
Now here’s how they reacted to being questioned by you the loyal readers.
Why must everyone go back to the 90’s East Coast argument? I grew up riding in the 90’s on the East Coast too it doesn’t pertain to anything. At one point the original owners attempted to “fight back ” I use that term loosely it’s more a threat, but they got called out on it, you can read that here. Pretty sure driving 7 hours and stopping at a bar isn’t hiding from anything. Granted we had a stop planned in PC months in advance on this trip, just so happened this was going down.
I would like to actually point out it all started with me asking a simple question on Facebook about some claims they were making just to see how they would react. Also reviews are only part of this site I would like to believe it provides meaningful insight into snowboarding from a different perspective. I would also like to point out once again I went to said meeting location and was stood up.
Man I will say life is rough on this trust fund budget I supposedly have, thank god I have some choice stock I occasionally sell. Well this “contributor” picked up your guys slack in advertising so I’m not really costing them anything. Also didn’t know my best friend lives in Utah and runs a snowboard magazine, I thought he was in Vegas being awesome.
Addendum my mom is down with the cause.
After 7 hours in the hell that is the nothing of Idaho we ventured into Ontario Oregon where with what little 3g I could muster allowing me to get on the Facebook again.
Intimidation would mean there was some form of fear, there wasn’t. I called their bluff once and showed up, no reason to bother doing it again especially with someone that comes across as mentally unstable when you don’t give them attention.
Lets also get real honest here they aren’t in the industry they’re in what they think is snowboarding. A real company wouldn’t have done this. Nor would they ever have posted this.
And their long winded diatribe continues.
I will point out yet again I was driving cross country, had been stood up once by them already, and had a schedule to keep. I will also point out the irony that the “new” owners Sam Rubin and Jessica something or other are doing. See my point on Yes above.
Dave from Agnarchy.com summed it up pretty well.
So the fact you threatened me and others after asking simple questions was the acceptable response? I will point out that at the root cause of anything this is the one key element that caused all this. Oh and I gave every person that has owned your fake company a chance to contact me, but in case you forget my email is Avran @angrysnowboarder.com feel free to hit me up any time. I can probably fit it into my busy nonsnowboarding cubicle jockey schedule.
New owners or old owners who cares. Snowboarding doesn’t need a company that measures success in financial worth. I’m not a rich man nor do I make anything off this site but it is successful solely in the fact it provides a service to riders with the reviews, entertainment to those that are bored, and exposure to those on the come up. Maybe if Nope’s owners could climb down out of their piece of shit H3 and greet the real snowboarders they would learn a thing or two. This was the problem with the previous owners and Sam Rubin has it as well. Then again Sam probably learned his marketing from this guy. If anyone wants to contact Sam about this I recommend Sam@nopeboards.co or call 6786447553 and if you’re into snail mail.
1670 Bonanza Drive
Park City, Utah 84060
Oh and to add insult to injury here’s a copy of their social media policy after a day of attacking me, my mom, my site, my readers, and everything in between. They should probably commit seppuku if they are honorable.