Snowboarding Gondola Operators

Just because snowboarding has influences of surfing and skateboarding in its roots doesn’t mean that it’s always good to have a crossover from one sport into another. For example SUP boarding or if you will stand up paddle boarding. If you don’t know what that is just picture a guy on a surfboard with a paddle pushing around a lagoon. So what does this have to do with snowboarding? Well the other day I was so fortunate to receive this great email from Kahuna Big Stick.


Oh Assaholamio Oh Lameideaamio or at least that’s how I think a gondola operator would sing about this.

Hope life’s going well for you!

Today Kahuna Creations is announcing the shipping of the Kahuna Snow Stick™ to stand-up paddle while snowboarding. I definitely want to make sure you know all about it. I attached a press release for you, and if you have any questions just let me know. It would be beautiful if you could make a writeup on this for angrysnowboarder.com. Either way I definitely want to make sure you know about what we’re doing. It’s really a ton of fun, and we’re all really stoked that it’s officially hitting the market today.

Oh it seems so nice but wait are they saying they invented a snowboard pole? Oh no wait they just made a really long with grippers my bad. In typical fashion I responded to this.

Cory,
Do you not understand what my site does? I am going to have to mock this as you essentially turned a snowboard into a sideways monoski with a uni-pole.

He responded again.

Serious? There’s no need to hate man. It’s just paddleboarding on the snow. We just made a few of these things to see if anyone likes them. If you don’t that’s cool.

I highly doubt they made a few of these since it made it over on Gizmodo and they sent out this mass email. Awesome guys don’t cover your ass, you want this to be the next big thing. In fact it probably will be huge for people that want to take up extreme cross country snowboarding.

Think of the possibilities. Oh but not to be out down there’s another snow paddle out there from a company called Snow Shift. This must be a huge new invention.

OK so lets look at this realistically since we don’t live in fantasyland. Snowboarding has appealed to people because we had our hands free, now they want to give us a giant stick. Cool I want to pay a hundred plus dollars for a stick, oh wait the resorts provide bamboo poles which you can use and also set up to pole jam. Hmm free bamboo or money I’ll take free every time.

They keep touting how this will be good in the park? How what are you going to do bust out some pole flip spinners on jibs? Or better yet a game of joust in the half pipe. It could be like Thunderdome two man enter one man leave!

Is getting stuck on flats that bad for people they need to look like a gondola operator pushing themselves along? Skating isn’t that hard if you actually know how to ride and if you can’t skate you should probably ski. Don’t know about you guys but I don’t think we need to become sideways monoskiers.

Oh bad ideas why do you keep happening in the snowboard world? It’s a perplexing question that can’t be answered.

21 Comments

  1. Reneator says:

    nice!

  2. ksup says:

    Eh, it’s different, but I think it’s pretty chill. But then I’m all for paddleboarding in the water.

  3. cro says:

    what the hell do you need a paddle if you have that thing called gravity?

  4. Hey Avran,

    I wrote an email to the guy who wrote the article for Gizmodo. This is what I said:

    Subject: Big Stick for Snowboarding? That’s “innovation” ?

    I read the Gizmodo article for the Kahuna creations snowboarding stick thingy, and I got to thinking to myself, “if this really really dumb idea can make it to Gizmodo, then perhaps my really awesome snowboarding iPhone app might have a chance.”

    Maybe it will…
    -Ted Bendixson

  5. JoeandAngie says:

    Ksup,

    It’s pretty chill? It’s the opposite of chill. It’s a shitload of effort. I pray I get to see somebody trying to pull this out on Mt. Hood. On a seperate note, paddleboarding is for surfers that can’t surf. Get a boat and pair of snow shoes. Together we can kill these two “sports.”

  6. KirkRider says:

    Had the same exact thought…The Skooch!! LOL!!
    Saw the ad today online…thought “that’s a bad idea for angry” lol…besides someone had the same idea before with that huge stick…that he would collapse and attach between his bindings…

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  8. mick says:

    that’s what i wrote them asking why do i need a fucking stick for carving when i have plenty of edges on my board for that, comment removed! noobs!

  9. Ah yes the snowboard spear I mean pole already mocked that one.

  10. DT says:

    I still haven’t decided which is funnier/sadder…..

  11. DT says:

    Ok, I figured it out. I just watched that stupid fucking snow stick video (believe me, I wish I hadn’t). Angry, perhaps you can enlighten me. What is the purpose of the “Snow Shift” snow paddle? I see them carrying the fucking thing but have yet to actually perceive what they use the fucking thing for.. Are people supposed to lean on it or use it as a rudder? WTF? The “riders” in the video just fucking held the damn thing like race team trainers carrying bamboo. I’m sure the reason you post this shit is because its just as perplexing to you as it is for me, but seriously though, why? What? How?

  12. DT says:

    Oh, and I hope that “Cross Country Snowboarding” is just a n elaborate joke. Please tell me that that is just a bad joke. Please.

  13. Kyle Rossiter says:

    If I ever see someone using one of these on the hill I’m going to spray them, while I pole jam it.

  14. Kass says:

    All the better to impale you with , my dear!?

  15. Jake says:

    @DT Umm it’s a joke….. and it’s hilarious.

    @cro Gravity doesn’t help you when you’re in a flat zone, I remember someone making some lil portable one that extends out so you can get through flat areas… I just try and get a ski’er to lend me a pole if they happen to be going by… Usually they’re nice enough to do that ;)

  16. LeroyTheMassochist says:

    I’m not a paddleboarder, but I am an avid surfer and snowboarder. To say that paddlboarders are guys that can’t surf is nothing but plain ignorance. Try making that statement about Laird Hamilton, Dave Kalama, or any number of other accomplished surfers/watermen who also use a paddleboard. In fact, I was out the other day and this kid that I always see surfing out in the lineup was fucking killing it on this custom made stand up paddleboard he just got.

    The concept obviously doesn’t belong anywhere near the sport of snowboarding ……… however that doesn’t mean that standup paddleboarding in the water sports arena is by any stretch illegitimate.

  17. Britt says:

    thank you haha

  18. Jenise says:

    “How good will it be in the park?” AMAZING. That’s how good.

    Have you ever seen ski ballet? Check out Hermann Reitberger, ski ballet legend. His aerials are truly inspiring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvk4PpFORD4

    Think about the new level freestyle snowboarding will be able to reach with poles.

    You all will be eating your words when Snowboard Ballet makes it to the 2030 Olympics.

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  20. Dman says:

    So funny, to read this comment board. Have friends that use the kahuna big stick on the mountain and love it. All this teen angst hostility towards … wait for it … SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!!. I’m going to be out west at Big Sky and I’ll probably be trying out my new Stick. As for what you’ll do to someone you see that has one on the mountain? That just tells me that your parents still have to drive you to the mountain, and drop you off at the lodge. Some of you guys sound like a bunch of high school teenagers that are talking about who is cool, and who isn’t…..

  21. So you’re saying you’re going monoskiing at Big Sky. Congratulations.

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