Finally Ullr has smiled his favor upon those of us that worship the snow and we’ve been blessed with more snow starting to fall. As bull wheels start to turn across the globe creating that hum of their mechanical workings, a call is sent out across the lands. Much like a dog whistle this call isn’t heard by everyone, it’s even safe to say that it’s just like a dog whistle in the fact that only an inferior being can hear it. Yes that is right it is the call of the Snow Carny!
Much like how Geese fly south for the winter so to are the predictable migratory patterns of the Snow Carny. Every resort is home to a few of these characters, you know the type the ones that strangely look out of place but in their environment all at once. They come from all walks of life and from every nationality you can imagine. Some come from money while others had nothing but the thoughts of shredding a 100 days a year.
In some circles they’re known as seasonal hires but I believe that’s just the politically correct term. Snow Carny fits them much better, because all you have to do is ask yourself what is a carny? Well by definition a carny is someone who travels with the circus or carnival from destination to destination living life one day at a time. Other than the traveling part is there much of a difference? And even still the traveling does take place as they have to migrate to the ski resort.
Every year at this time as I venture down the florescent illuminated aisles of my local City Market I see their faces fresh off the bus, car, or plane. Visions of endless blue bird powder days and insane apres parties. The first week they’re here you can tell most are new to living on their own and their grocery carts are jam packed with all the foods their mothers wouldn’t approve of. After they’ve been here for a month or two you notice that the next time they’re doing their grocery shopping that the Ramen aisle is completely drained. Is there a reason for this? Well to properly be a snow carny ones diet must consist of Ramen, ghetto cafeteria tomato soup, and of course crackers. Only if they have a trust fund can they actually afford to eat on their wages that the resort provides.
Much like a poor diet hygiene seems to go out the door with this lot of characters once the Christmas rush has passed. Perhaps it’s their way of saying well I made it through the shit show now you’re stuck with me, or perhaps it’s just gotten to that point in the alcohol and marijuana induced stupor that they’ve just given up or forgotten about it. Either way everyone around them is forced to deal with it.
But where would we be without our minimum wage Snow Carny friends? Well you have to ask yourself who would burn my twelve dollar burger in the cafeteria, who would call me an asshole for coming out early in the lift line, and who would be the angry parking attendant when I go to park in my own spot and not where I was directed? These are the people we all know and love if only for a season. So for that I salute you Snow Carnies of the world, because without you working for slave wages and being a dick we wouldn’t be having fun and sliding on snow at resorts.