Why oh why in this world we live in do more and more people that don’t fucking get it start snowboard companies. I just don’t understand it at all. Ok so you snowboard cool for you, its a hobby, you never packed up and moved to the mountains and lived on Ramen to ride, you’re not some super corporation expanding its stock portfolio and making killer products, you’re basically a giant fucking tool.
The other day over on the Transworld business site an article about a contest Bitch Boards is hosting popped up. Now I’ve seen these boards before and I’ve met the owner nothing special. But one of the funniest comments I’ve ever read so I figured I’d share this:
I actually heard that the girls that did Fresh and Tasty back in the day started up a new women’s shred magazine called “Y’East Infection” and they interviewed Alex for issue one. She revealed her plans on taking over the women’s snowboard market by offering more than just Bitch Boards to women consumers. She let the ladies in on a tasty secret that her new women’s specific binding company, Cunt Clampz will debut at SIA this year. These binding have lovely art tastefully displayed on the high backs that are shaped like giant dildos while the cap strap toe straps were going to be marketed as clit straps just to show her appreciation for the strength that a women’s body possesses. She said that once this winner was firmly entrenched into the marketplace that BitchBoards was going knock another one out of the ball park with a outwear line she designed called…WenchWear. This outerwear is designed specifically for women with lower centers of gravity (i.e. big fat asses) and has women’s specific features in the clothing that only a women with the sense of style and class that Alex has could think of. Once such feature would be the Maxi Pad inserts in the pants for women that still want to rip while on the rag. Stay tuned for the full article in Y’East Infection, cuming on a newsstand near you soon.
I’m all for women’s progression in snowboarding. I love what a lot of companies are doing by offering a women’s specific program to build, design, and help women. What I do not like is companies that are clueless that in their shameful self promotion hurt first timers to the sport as well as give a bad image to snowboarding in general.
I’ll try to nail all the offenses I can find before some screaming Tundra Wookie comes after me to protest how I am an evil person.
Many women try snowboarding on a men’s specific rental board and get too frustrated and give up. No wonder! They are trying to learn a very demanding sport while riding a man’s board that is heavy, awkward and hard to control. We believe that more women will try and love snowboarding if they are suited with the proper equipment
The general public holds the misconception that snowboarding is reserved for punk, teenage ‘dudes’ flying through the air with baggy pants and a careless attitude, while the few female snowboarders were thought of as ‘hard-core’, ‘extreme sport’ tomboys. However, statistics show that more and more everyday women are taking up the sport and are looking for a more feminine touch within the industry.
Since I’ve started riding I’ve seen tons of changes in the snowboard industry. Almost every rental shop is using similar product. Burton definitely leads the charge with the LTR program and that offers up all sorts of variations of boards not just shoving a woman on a “men’s” board. Let alone almost all rental boards now are soft flexing directional twin boards geared towards what a beginner needs. The biggest change is in the fact that shops now offer a mans boot and a women’s boot. That is absolutely huge and where 90% of the problems occur.
Evidently Miss Masterson hasn’t gotten the memo that snowboarding is a mainstream sport with people ranging in ages from 5 to 90 doing it. Last time I checked the average person snowboarding is a mid 30’s business man who is dressed in casual winter wear, not some super huge pants and tall tees. There’s only been maybe 2 or 3 girls I’ve ridden with that I’d have called Tom Boys most are attractive women that are out there having fun.
In the past, the male-dominated snowboard industry has tried to appease the smaller female demographic by releasing sub-par women’s equipment and apparel. The belief that decorating men’s equipment with ‘girlie’ graphics would suffice no longer works when the demographic has changed to include everyday, feminine women. These women want quality equipment that also represents style.
You should take a page from your own article, THE PAST!!!! This quote sounds like something I would have read back in 98, not 2008.
#3. SKIP THE RENTAL EQUIPMENT
Having your own equipment will help you learn faster and may help prevent fatigue and injury while learning to snowboard. Most rental boards are men’s boards that are not built for a woman’s physique. They are heavy, awkward and frustrating to learn on. Investing in your own equipment may save you a season of frustration and possible injury. BitchBoards® is a women’s specific brand that offers a variety of lightweight (under 5lbs) snowboards that not only are beautiful, but are constructed of the highest quality materials to ensure you will have the board for seasons to come.
STOP! Walk away from that rental shop! If you are a first time snowboarder, or just the once-a-season kind of gal, you must know that renting a snowboard can increase your chances of injury, fatigue and a ruined trip
Why is a BitchBoards® snowboard superior to other women’s snowboards?
Most women’s snowboards are heavy (sometimes over 12lbs), awkward to control, poorly constructed and decorated with cutsie little girl graphics. BitchBoards® snowboards are made for women. They are extremely lightweight (under 6lbs), easy to control, reinforced with carbon fiber for a stable ride, have medium flex so you can take it anywhere on the mountain, shaped for a woman’s lower of center of gravity and smaller feet, and have closer set inserts for a more comfortable stance. Plus, they have beautifully feminine and strong photographs as the top graphics. See the boards here.
Anyone want to point me in the direction of a 12lb snowboard? The average board for a guy weighs in around 5 pounds, how the hell could a women’s board weigh 12 then? Is someone sedated in the mid 90’s?
Buy before you’ve ever ridden? While some people buying is what they need to commit to doing it, snowboarding is not a cheap sport. Renting for 1 day vs buying and only going 1 day there’s a huge difference right there. Most people should rent and see if its something they want to pursue, that way they aren’t sitting at home with gear that’s collecting dust in the garage. I understand you’re trying to sell a product here and hype it but come on common sense would be don’t go that route you’re just making yourself look stupid.
Each BitchBoards® snowboard is ultra-light (about 1/2 the weight of other women’s snowboards) which is extremely beneficial on the slopes, especially when you are learning. Lugging around a heavy board and trying to control and maneuver it throughout the day, as you get more tired is cumbersome! There is no reason to have such a heavy board. Below are the weights of each board without bindings (some boards have slight variance):
• Snowboard Size 139: 4.75 lbs
• Snowboard Size 144: 5.00 lbs
• Snowboard Size 149: 5.25 lbs
• Snowboard Size 152: 5.50 lbs
• Snowboard Size 154: 5.75 lb
What snowboards are you comparing it to? 5.5 lbs is more than a 152 skate banana. Maybe Bitch Boards needs to attend a demo day and try out some of the bigger companies boards to understand that almost all boards are in that range or less. Why would you lug around a board as you get more tired. General rule of thumb if you’re fatigued and getting tired quit while you’re ahead before you end up hurting yourself.
How can I avoid scratching and denting my snowboard?
Snowboards can get scratches and dents, but if you take the following precautions, you will be able to avoid most of them.
• Never place your board upright against a wall. More often than not, it will fall over and it will fall hard. This can cause major dents in your board.
• Avoid rocky areas when snowboarding or areas where dirt seems to come through the snow (most often seen at the beginning and the end of the season as the snow melts).
• Avoid off-slope (or “back country” snowboarding). There are usually many treacherous rocks and branches that stick out and can scratch your board.
• Avoid trees, or any other obstacles when snowboarding.
• Keep your board in a snowboard bag while transporting and storing.
• Try to never place anything on top of the board, as it may scratch the surface.
Um do I really need to go over this? Avoid back country? Damn I guess getting a core shot isn’t worth getting fresh face shots of pow. Its a fucking snowboard its meant to be ridden, shit happens and things will break. Once people come to terms with the fact that snowboards are expendable they’ll ride better.
I’ve heard BitchBoards® snowboards have been stolen at resorts. How can I prevent this from happening to me?
The only way to ensure theft protection is to buy a good quality lock, don’t leave your board unattended and use your street smarts at the slopes. BitchBoards® snowboards are highly coveted and if someone is given the opportunity to steal the board, they will. Don’t let this happen and you won’t have to experience that sort of grief!
I feel bad for whomever would steal one of these boards. In the event your Bitch Board was stolen I would just like to let you know that it was probably for your bindings. My solution is buy a real board that way if its stolen you won’t feel like such a tool having a 650 dollar board stolen.
Speaking of 650 bucks WTF makes these boards cost that god damn much? 650 bucks is fucking expensive for a 2nd year company that doesn’t offer any tech that is better than any other company out there.
BitchBoards® snowboards are sandwich constructed directional snowboards with the following quality materials:
• Poplar Full-length Wood Core
• Carbon Fiber Reinforcement
• Bi-Directional Fiberglass
• ABS Black Sidewalls with Metallic BitchBoards® logo
• Stainless Steel Edges
• Sintered Base
See nothing special or different than the other companies out there. Its like why pay 650 bucks when I could get something that’s two hundred and fifty dollars less, that definitely has more tech in it.
I’m on a lot of snowboard forums and recently I’ve seen a bunch of posts popping up about these boards. Evidently if you were on the mailing list you could get a board for 15 dollars. Now what this tells me is that its a last ditch effort to get people out there riding the product in hopes that more people see it and want to buy it. The problem is with the name Bitch you’re severely limited, then adding a 650 dollar price tag you’ve scared away most people. Especially in this economic down turn we’re having.
I’m sure there’s probably more things I could crucify this company for but I’ve pointed out enough of the problems of people that don’t get it. Hopefully someone reads this and realizes its just another company that’s trying to mislead the consumer into believing that this is what snowboarding needs.