Life Of The Snow Carny: Eskimo Siblings

Now that it’s January second and the effects of a raucous New Years eve have worn off. The loveable creatures that work seasonally at your favorite resort have to come to terms with their questionable decisions of morality. See it’s 2013 and that means they’re about two months deep into their five month season. The idea that they’re “the shit” is slowly whittling away and that means they’re coming to terms with the fact no one including the resort that hired them cares. They might claim that they’re local, they might tout their bar star status, and the best is their never ending statements about their sexual conquests of Tundra Wookiees, Gnargoyles, and Troglodytes!

It’s at this time in their slightly depressive state that the biggest realization will hit them, more than likely fueled by a handle of cheap whiskey and the finest gourmet meal known to the indentured resort servant; Ramen! While sitting around their overly simple resort appointed domicile one carny will look at another while trying to brag about whatever swamp donkey they hooked up with. In this conversation the small hamster that lurks on the wheel they call a brain will attempt to make a full loop around its circle and realize that “wait I hooked up with them too”. It’s in this stark realization that a bond will be formed.

It’s a bond that can not be unbroken except maybe by a visit to the free clinic or penicillin. This is when all those late night drug and booze fueled exploits catch up to them. See in any resort town the odds are not favorable for the males of the species as it’s 10 to 1, which means the pickings are slim and standards will be lowered. For the females the age old saying goes, “The odds are good, but the goods are odd”, this is when morals go out the window.

Not only is there a special bond but a great name for it: Tunnel Buddies or Eskimo Siblings.

Now if you look at it this way in the true snow carny resort community (not the actual mountain town) there’s a high probability that if these two examples are now Eskimo siblings then there are others. See it goes without saying that guy X hooks up with girl Y, but girl Y has also hooked up with guys A, B, and C. This means that now all four are brothers and share a special bond. Now guy X has also hooked up with girl Z which is girl Y’s roommate. Girl Z may have hooked up with guy A but she also hooked up with guys D, E, and F. That means that girl Y is now a sibling not only with A, B, C, and X, but D, E, and F by her roommates exploits. Guy X is sharing his brotherhood with D, E, and F along with A, B, and C.  Much like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon resort towns can do the same back to one incident of drunken debauchery.

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So next time you visit a resort town and think about going on that epic quest to bag a mountain “local” that works for the resort. Ask yourself how much separation do you want from the troglodyte working next to them? Because, yes they share lineage and probably a disease or two.

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