Kickstarter: Proudly Funding Shitty Ideas

Here we are barely into the new year, one that was supposed to be full of hope, positivity, and a severe lack of shitty rehashed bad ideas. But no, it seems that having one year, yes just one fucking year; is too much to ask for the hell spawn of bad ideas. Add to that it’s not just a bad idea that’s been done before, but one that wants your money to fund it. Yes, that’s right we’re back for another sequel of give me your money on Kickstarter! At the rate these ideas keep popping up it’ll beat the James Bond franchise for being the longest running.

As with most bad ideas it comes in the form of a solicitation to promote them. Even worse it came from some generic email address and not their personal or business.

Hey anrgysnowboarders!
My name is Eriks Strals, I’m one of your blog readers and an avid snowboarder. I’ve read your blog for awhile now and really enjoy your clip posting and updates on what’s going on in the snowboarding community…
Anyway, I was wondering if you could help me out with my Kickstarter I’m running for snowboarders, which is about a userful snowboarding accessory called the Edge Risers. There’s not a lot of snowboarders out there who know about Kickstarter and I am trying to spread the word, not only about Kickstarter, but to show how we need more interesting snowboarding innovations on Kickstarter. Also of course I want to promote my Kickstarter, but I really do think that this is a good step in the direction of getting more recognition of snowboarding projects on Kickstarter.

Also, if any of your riders have larger then usual feet, I’m sure they’d really like to try these out Smile

here’s the link to my Kickstarter! I’d love you hear your feedback, and let me know if you have any questions or wanted to try out a pair yourself!
Thanks so much for your time!
Eriks Strals
eriks.strals@isuckatlife.com

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1823707957/edge-risers-snowboarding-accessory-to-improve-how

Why yes you will win my influence by misspelling Angry Snowboarders. What can you not fucking proof read your intro? Then again look at the typos in this and it’s pretty evident that he was so enamored at the sheer fact to email a site he frequents it completely flustered him.

Oh yes here we go with the standard ass kissing. I’m sure you’re a reader that’s why you thought this email was OK. What? You’re lying? Oh well we’ll just let that slide. After all you praised me!

Now how many times can Mr. Strals put the word Kickstarter into this? Is he trying to boost SEO keyword searches or something with this email? Kind of confused at the over abundance of this term.

Now lets look at the actual product, Edge Risers. No one has ever made these before! I mean no one! Oh wait that’s right they have and they aren’t made anymore for a reason.

Here’s their video pitch:

Now being a consummate professional I responded in typical form.

Eriks,
Out of curiosity was your original email fashioned together by some writer you hired off eLance? The fact that you didn’t bother to proofread the email makes me wonder this. It’s Angry Snowboarders not arngysnowboarders and I’m pretty sure you meant to say useful not “userful” as that’s not even a word.

Then there’s the rampant use of name dropping Kickstarter. Something I’m well aware of as I’ve written a few articles mocking the bad ideas that have ended up on there that people have asked me to endorse. Then again as an avid reader of my site you should realize this. Then again Kickstarter is the realm where people who are too afraid to invest their worth in either getting a loan or selling their property to fund their “awesome” idea go to sucker in rubes. Now as anyone that knows me would say I am not a rube, nor would I ever endorse an idea that has already had its moment in the sun in snowboarding.

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Your idea is nothing new? Burton Elevators, Palmer Power Plates, and I’m sure there’s another one I can’t remember out there as well. You’re rehashing something that has already failed. The solution to your problem you see is to get boards that have the right waist width to your boot. Your friend and yourself suffer from this. Although it looks like you don’t know how to center your bindings and have them shoved a bit more toe heavy judging from the videos. You obviously don’t follow the advancements in technology in snowboarding because in your videos on your Kickstarter it shows a lot of boards I sold near or after the turn of the century.

I’ll tell you right now just walk away from this project, especially if you think adding LED’s is bringing anything to the table. You obviously have failed to do your research both in who you’re emailing as well as this rehashed idea.

I was nice enough to respond, they haven’t decided to keep the communique flowing.

If you feel brave you should check out their website. Some great claims of what these can do for you. This is my personal favorite:

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How on earth does a 1 inch thick piece of plastic increase feel? Anyone care to answer that one to me? Sheer logic should say this would deaden it.

Want to know how to install them? Here you go.

Now as anyone who knows how this site works we call bullshit on bullshit and offend people. It’s our schtick it works. This guy gets his product/Kickstarter out there, we give you a chuckle, world goes on. But let me point out this idea has been done before and there is no reason to redo it. Get the proper board for your boot size; wide boards have come such a long ways and are perfect for you large footed snow sliders.

7 Comments

  1. Kling says:

    I have a friend who uses the burton ones on one of them super $$ Burton decks….he has a $2000 setup with risers, its so dope…but he doesn’t have LED’s yet….

    I’d get them just so I look a little taller…..

  2. Taylor says:

    Holy shit that video is hilarious, fucking retards

  3. Adrock says:

    I rode Palmer power plates for years. Then I learned to shop for wide boards. Lets rehash some other ideas like clickers and freestyle hard boots. I’m sure we’ll get it right eventually.

  4. […] hey at least these guys aren’t trying to Kickstart their project. Here’s their all-CGI intro video. Mind = blown, […]

  5. Ryturd says:

    More confusing to me is the name, “Edge Risers”. The name comes off as something that would raise my edge, like a 3D base profile. This product in fact attempts to give you more edge. Also, it doesn’t come close to out engineering the pre-existing products. It looks like the bottom of Herman Munster’s boots.

  6. fattrav says:

    Dude! But it seems so legit! They need to put a female spin on it, because all the big footed snowboarders are gnargoyles.

  7. Fu says:

    My old SP bindings used to have risers as standard. Why are they trying to sell something that used to be given free.

    Also I agree what sorta archaic setups they riding.

    I used to have a board like that and I just angles my feet more. Screw risers.

    But if they had a hot naked chick I might watch the vid more than once.

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