Jibbing Prevents Pregnancy
Mainstream media as much as it tries to make us believe that they understand what our culture is about still has moments that show it’s true ignorance. According to the great marketing masterminds at Stayteen.org jibbing will prevent teen pregnancy. The proof of this is in the overly produced commercial that probably cost them a whole ninety nine dollars. Watch it for yourself.
It’s great that they’re trying to target the suburban white snowboard demographic and all, but there are far better ways to utilize snowboarding and jibbing as ways to not get knocked up. Personally I would have used phrases such as these listed below that are a bit broader.
- Nose press the funbox.
- Lipslide the rail. (It gives new meaning to the term face shot)
- Go frontside down the backside. (more prevalent in Utah)
This would give other options than riding the dude tube or double corking the full pipe if you know what I mean. Although wouldn’t jibbing be more of an after pregnancy thought? You could perform the spleen rupturing, stomach busting, abortion known as the human taco.
This ranks right up there with other such great back room abortion options as a shop vac with a coat hangar and the old stand by of rolling down a staircase. Although the latter can be performed in conjunction with the rail taco as well. Sure those are all great for the female shred but what about the guys? Well just ride Dual Snowboards the shame coupled with serious groin injury should be enough to prevent any form of procreating.
Just remember kids snowboarding prevents pregnancy unless you find yourself drinking copious amounts of the boozahol and making questionable decisions of morality. And to end this on a positive note just wrap it before you tap it cause an 18 year STD is not something you want.
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