When you host a contest that involves destroying a snowboard to win a snowboard there’s going to be people that question your sanity and why you would do something like that. You see the whole point of having a contest like that is to weed out the pussies from the manliest of men, after all only a man would say to themselves, “fuck I can break a snowboard if it means I might win me another one”! Because lets be honest snowboards are meant to be ridden and destroyed not looked and coddled like your new born baby. So without further ado here’s the people that had the balls enough to break a board and how to vote for the official winner.
First on the chopping block is this entry from Cameron he attempts many times to kill this snowboard. Someone needs to teach this guy how to properly use a hatchet the leverage is all in the wrist buddy a couple good whacks and it should have been sticking out of the base. But when a hatchet doesn’t work the next best thing is a crowbar and a girlfriend with superhuman strength. Oh no wait she’s kind of limp wristed too! Oh well the ender is the real surprise.
Second entry went all out in proving that a snowboard is a lot harder to destroy than one thinks. Young Lincoln who must be a manly man cause he was all “fuck these bindings” and just destroyed the board. One thing I’d like to note when playing with fire it’s not wise to keep the gas can near open flames. Just something you learn with wisdom or blowing up your poor pet cat Mr. McFluffer, R.I.P. Honestly I didn’t think a World Wide Weapon would have lasted this long.
Finally there’s Arne’s filmed submission of his friend Ben who magically decided to try and kill himself while breaking a board. Seriously who just says, “I really like this board” then goes and leaves craters like superman falling from space? Granted he goes all out with a hatchet but man what is up with people being weak limp wristed fools with sharp weapons that are meant to maim? Credit for sending the board off in true viking fashion though.
So since I can’t really figure out who should win this as someone will probably cry and call me an asshole then wish testicular cancer on me again I’m leaving it up to you the readers to vote on the official Angry Snowboarder Facebook page where I have a poll set up. Person that has the most votes by the time I wake up tomorrow which ranges from the ass crack of dawn to the butt crack of noon wins.