Bad Ideas Shouldn’t Be Crowd Funded

When it comes to stupidity there is no cure for it. Darwinism used to take effect and cause people that suffer from this creative deaths that make the world laugh, but now that we live in an almost perpetual nanny state stupidity exceeds the laws behind survival of the fittest. Because of this it has bred people that have intelligence in certain fields but completely lack common sense in practical day to day life. These I believe are the people that invent the worst ideas in snowboarding without really thinking about what they’re producing or who would actually buy it.

Case in point the inventors of the LED Snowboard, yes I know another fucking snowboard with lights shoved on, in, or around it. How original! I’m going to guess these guys are great at electronics and being engineers, but as people that ride a snowboard I think they’re missing the point.

IT HAS FUCKING LIGHTS!

What’s even better about this is much like other bad ideas Kickstarter has been used for another brand to gain financing. It seems crowd funding is the popular choice for making shitty ideas possible.

The idea that I could converse with someone whose mental capacity in snowboarding is the equivalent of a sea sponge is a tough pill to swallow. But alas for the sake of defending snowboarding and giving you some daily humor I engaged the creator of this device in a conversation to see what kind of sheer stupidity they would be bringing to the table. Here’s some gems for you to digest.

The idea of putting LEDs on a snowboard is not new. The idea of color changing and controlling lighting based on motion is a new idea and we have a patent on it. We did build some early prototypes with the LEDs inside the base of the board. In some ways this is a good idea, and we may eventually team up with a board company to do this but we do not want to build boards. And if we did make a board, it will be difficult to pick a board that everyone is going to be happy with. The idea with the kit is you can take the board you like and turn it into an LED board and not have to spend the money to buy a brand new board with LEDs in it.

I have personally contributed over $30,000 to build dozens of prototypes, pay for custom tooling, etc. Most of the money we are trying to raise (just under $50,000) is to place an order for the first batch and the rest is for finishing the design and more tooling (custom molds).  We really wont make hardly anything even after we sell the first batch but it will be enough to build more.

So you’ve dumped 30 grand into this, want another 50 grand, and still haven’t perfected it? That’s 80,000 dollars. I know people that have started successful snowboard brands with less money. Maybe you should partner up with Nope. Snowboards they seem to be down with useless technology and gimmicky marketing shit plus they’re all about talking about how smart they are. You guys probably have a lot in common, mainly that you suck.

The snow that piles up on your board adds more weight than the LED system. You don’t notice it. The battery weight is in the center of the board. It does not affect the ride. I have been out the last two seasons with it on my board doing plenty of jumps and I ride extremely fast. We are also working on a design that allows you to wear the battery. And no, we are not taking away from functionality. Even the 1st generation prototypes that weighed 5 times as much did not take away from the functionality. And it does help snowboarding. It adds visibility at night. I ride fast and it avoids a lot of problems because people see me. If you happen to wipe out after a jump. People can see you. If your friends want to know where you are at, they can see you. We are also looking into building an avalanche beacon radio into the system as well. So there is quite a bit of usefulness. We are also working on putting graphics and video on the surface of the snowboard and we have patents that cover this

Strange when I ride I don’t notice a ton of snow piling up on my board and even when it does it’s not staying on the board on the ride up. 1 extra pound is more stress and fatigue on your knees, people don’t realize this until the end of the day. I really want to know where you’re riding that you need to be worried about people not seeing you if you case a jump. Guess you’re not familiar with Smart Style. Also who wants a fucking moving light on their board distracting them or potentially causing seizures.

And why the fuck would you ever put an Avy Beacon on something that could get ripped off the board? Are you trying to kill someone? I suggest if you go that route maybe you partner up with these folks. Then there’s the whole battery issue with the transceiver as well.

The LiPo batteries we are specially designed to work down to -20c. There is also a heating circuit that will keep the battery temperature above 0c. There is a lot that is in the design of our battery system to keep it running in the extreme temperatures.

So now the battery heats a unit to keep it warm so that it won’t die in the cold? This is just getting too technical, simple solution though don’t do it!

We already have a rechargeable battery, and PCB for controlling the lights. The radio will become part of this. We are looking into ways to synchronize lights between boards as well via radio so when you are close to your friends, the lighting sequences will span across them. If we end up doing the flexible video screen idea on the surface of the board, you can span graphics, video, etc across multiple boards. We are also looking into ways to possibly help teach people to not to catch edge who are learning to board with the accelerometer that we are currently using to control the lights. Lot of other ideas that we are looking into besides just lights.

So now it’s a light, video screen, transceiver, and audio teaching tool? Seriously could you add more useless crap to this? People are trying to get away from technology when they ride. Then there’s the whole taking away from a beginners senses when they’re essentially mobile missiles on the hill.

No, for this idea, we are looking at a wireless ear piece with audio cues “toes”, “heels” etc… the type of ear piece we are looking at is an open design. It does not seal out ambient sound. You can still hear people talking to you.

And when you slam onto your head performing the harshest of scorpions how is that going to feel? Seriously you’re now adding the cubicle jockey douche bag culture of ear pieces to snowboarding.

I built the original prototypes because it was something that I wanted to do. When I took these out to test, all I did was talk to people who wanted to check it out. I did not get much boarding because of the interest. It is obviously not for everyone. It seems more 6-14 year olds and people above 24 year old are the most interested. Something about the teens love to just bash everything. I’m 31, I went though that stage in my life as well. But with as much interest as we have had in the other age groups, I think we will do fine.

You’re not much older than me bucko, I’m bashing this because it’s pointless and does nothing to help snowboarding. Also I’m trying to save you money.

We did several hundred hours of market research. Part of the patent writing process.

Pretty sure you mean patent research. I doubt you sat down and had focus groups, feasibility studies, or even talked to real snowboarders about how this effected the ride.

When we wrote the patent and did our market research, there was nothing on the market like this as far as a kit that you could mount on your board. We are aware of lightmyboard.com but we are quite a bit different. When you write a patent, you have to know what is out on the market especially similar products with patents. If you don’t do this, its very easy for the idea to be rejected by the USPTO.

Pretty sure I linked to an article where someone else attached a rope light and battery to their board. Damn the USPTO isn’t doing their jobs, must be all those government cut backs.

Now sure fine you want something fun so you build a bulky ass box with lights sticking out of it. It’s a novelty you dig it cause you created it, but asking people to fund something that will be 80k in the hole before you have a fully produced product? That’s absurd. Then add to that your lack of understanding snowboard functionality, how transceivers work in the field, and a understanding of why it’s a bad idea and this is a recipe for failure. Do us all a favor and fuck off, your going to get someone seriously injured or killed.

Oh and for insult to injury I love this diagram here. Way to take snowboarding back 20 years with that three strap binding.