Browsing all posts by Ted Bendixson - .

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The G-String Theory

The G-String Theory

Our world continues to be disrupted from new advances in science made possible by the fruitful efforts of those who venture to gain clarity where there once was obscurity. By now, it is very clear that Bro Flo, Gaperian Motion, Pro Flow, and the Hos Field are real physical phenomena that can be explained with […]

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The Hos Field

The Hos Field

At the completion of our earlier work on the naturalistic underpinnings of the Pro Flow, it became necessary to introduce yet another explanatory factor responsible for the rare phenomenon we observe. Pros Flow in a wholly unique way, so uncharacteristic of either gapers or bros that it warrants further scientific inquiry. We know that Pro […]

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The Pro Flow

The Pro Flow

The work of a scientist is never finished. Although we venture to uncover the biggest and smallest mysteries of the universe, we often overlook natural phenomena that are so much a part of our everyday experience that they are simply accepted without further question. My previous treatise on Gaper-Bro Fluid Dynamics was incomplete. It lacked […]

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2012 Salomon Rhythm Used and Reviewed

2012 Salomon Rhythm Used and Reviewed

If anyone has ever met Ted before it’s evident he doesn’t have any rhythm. Luckily Salomon does and they wanted to extend an invite for him to figure it all out. Here’s how he felt this rhythmic binding rode under his feet.

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Why don’t you just have sex with your snowboard?

Why don’t you just have sex with your snowboard?

Look, I know it’s been a few years since we dated, but something has been on my mind this whole time. You and I were at your house one day when I said something I probably shouldn’t have said. I said snowboarding is better than sex, and I’ve never seen you more angry with me.

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2013 Echelon Flight Pattern Used and Reviewed

2013 Echelon Flight Pattern Used and Reviewed

Nothing like taking one of the lightest weight guys on our review team and shoving him on the stiffest board a company makes all while saying go hit this jump and tell me what you think. Once again Ted is back to test another product and over analyze it.

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2013 Salomon Cypher Used and Reviewed

2013 Salomon Cypher Used and Reviewed

Sometimes it’s fun to give Ted products and see what happens. Being that he doesn’t have a retail background in the snowboard industry it’s more amusing for him to play with things and go but why isn’t this working or where the fuck did this part go. This was one of those bindings that did […]

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2013 Salomon District Used and Reviewed

2013 Salomon District Used and Reviewed

Ted tests out Salomon’s new Shadowfit technology on the District. Think of it as taking everything you loved about Relay and making it work even better. Is it for everyone? Did Ted like it? Read the review to find out more.

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2013 Never Summer Evo Used and Reviewed

2013 Never Summer Evo Used and Reviewed

This board has been a staple of Never Summers freestyle commitment to snowboarding. We decided to send Ted our over analytical writer out on it to see what he had to say about it. Surprise surprise he liked it, you can read more below.

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Toward A Unified Theory Of Gaperian Motion

Toward A Unified Theory Of Gaperian Motion

Gaperian motion still remains a mystery. While it is known that most gapers stick to a pre-defined path that sweeps across the widest run, many physicists are puzzled to find that some gapers stop and start so suddenly that it is difficult to plot their trajectories with any degree of accuracy. It appears as though […]