15 Things To Do In A Ski Town Before You Die

The idea of living in a ski town is appealing to most. I mean wake up, go shred, party all night, and make memories to last a life time or something completely clichè like that. The truth is all ski towns to an extent are the same, sure the names of people and places are different, but it’s the same scene. Now if you’re going to go after the ski town life even if only for a season or two there’s a list of things you need to do that is quite quintessential in no particular order.

  1. Play a game of human Tetris and see how many people you can cram into a 2 bedroom 1 bath condo. (Bonus points if no one is officially on the lease) Adding a couple pets to the mix like a feral cat or a dog that pisses on the couch/air mattress of the stinky guys really gives it a true atmosphere.
  2. Take home a cougar from the bar by regaling her with tales of your snowboarding ability.
  3. Bang a Gnargoyle and then never acknowledge it happened regardless of how many times your friends or the Gnargoyle in question brings it up.
  4. Puke in a bar bathroom from over indulging in libations and continue to party like the rockstar you believe you are.
  5. Pee off a chairlift. If you can splash a golden stream of excellence on mountain safety and not get caught you are all that is man and everyone should revere you!
  6. Get a DUI (don’t cry about us condoning drinking and driving this is just a common thing in any resort area).
  7. Get fired from more than 2 meaningless jobs in one season because you ditched to go shred or were too hung over.
  8. Do the walk of shame and get busted by your friends. Even better to do this in your shred gear or a costume of some kind.
  9. Become Eskimo brothers with just about everyone in your social circle because you all decided hooking up with that swamp donkey at the local watering hole was a good thing.
  10. Get a proform and brag about it.
  11. Poach a hot tub and not get caught. Bonus if nude and with the fairer sex.
  12. Convince a tourist to buy you drinks then get a round for all your friends on their dime.
  13. Outrun mountain safety clearing the ski area boundary and then taunt them to come down and take your pass.
  14. Duck a rope and get a face full of that fresh white stuff.
  15. Know where the best place in town to meet the opposite sex for dates is. (Hint frozen food aisle in the grocery store)

If you can manage to check off these simple items from your list you’ll be well on your way to total ski town domination. People will be wowed by the tales you tell them and your legend status will just escalate. Oh no wait this is shit snow carnies do for the first few years then move away or become adults.

2 Comments

  1. herzogone says:

    Well, that pic pretty well covers every possible interpretation of “hot tub poacher”.

  2. EASTBRU says:

    HAHAHAH …. I love how this is every trip to CO for us .. this also make Kid TUBBI in too!

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